Dear Beloved,

My eldest daughter is at the age, both biologically and theologically, where she and I are able to discuss at length the context, people and messages within scripture. I. am. loving. this.

These talks, or discussions, happen in the ordinary places of our life: errands to and from the grocery store, while scrubbing the toilet (didn't I just do this?), folding endless piles of laundry. It truly is Deuteronomy 6:7 in action.

I never quite know when these questions or conversations will arise. One particular afternoon in the car on the way home from one of our said errands, Emma pipes up from the back:

“I was reading about John and Peter racing to the tomb where Jesus was buried and rose again and John called himself ‘the disciple whom Jesus loved,’" she scoffed. “He can't say that!” (For context, the scripture she is referring to is John 20:2-8).

“Why ever not?” I replied.

“That makes him sound proud. Jesus loves everyone and John made himself out to be the favorite!"

“Well, I'm God's favorite,” was my first reply. I think I surprised her because her eyes bulged from her head.

“MOM! You're just as bad as he is!" She couldn't believe what I was saying. And then I pressed further.

“Maybe the way John wrote about himself, details like, ‘he got to the tomb first,’ make it sound like John is bragging. But I think John really believed he was God's favorite, and not because he was exaggerating his relationship to Jesus. Have you ever felt like God's favorite?” I asked.

“No, that's not how it works. He loves us all the same, the way you and daddy love us kids the same." She gets her decisiveness and stubbornness from me.

“But I don't love you all the same!” I laughed. Her jaw dropped at this. More eye bulging.

“You're right in that I love you all the same amount, but I how I love each of you is different. And God loves us all enough to die for us – that's true! But how He shows you He loves you will be different than your siblings because you are different!”

“Mom, I think you need to go back to your Bible and read this again.” More huffing from my eight-year-old. This was her response. Honestly? I love her for it -- truly. If she had just accepted my response, no back-and-forth, I'd be less apt to think she was really, truly wrestling with this concept of receiving God's love as His favorite – of belovedness. And we all should wrestle with this! If you don't believe you're God's favorite, keep reading. My daughter isn't convinced either. At least, not yet.

“I'm forever learning about God's love and I'll always be reading and re-reading His love letter-- that's His Word! – but I know this to be true: God loves me in such a way that I feel His favor over every detail of my life. He sees me and knows me. I can rest in this! He knows the number of hairs on my head! In the details, I am so dearly loved! And that's how I approach my relationship with Him. His favorite!"

“But you're not His favorite.” Okay, mentally at this point, I wanted to eye-roll. Instead, I pressed in:

“Who is His favorite, if not you and I?" I asked.

I'd like to say that the conversation ended with a neat bow and that she accepted what I had to say, but the truth is, it's an on-going conversation that she still prods at every now and then.

“You still think you're God's favorite?” She'll ask.

“Sure do!” I'll smile. “And you're His favorite, too!"

While there's so much I could say about John, the one whom Jesus loved, identity and belovedness – what I will leave you with is this: perhaps it's not that Jesus loved John more than the others, but that John accepted, rested and lived into how very loved he was by Christ the most. (I wonder, too, if this isn't why John was later trusted to pen the words of Revelation, given a glimpse into the Holy City, what it looks like to be fully wrapped in belovedness and prepared as a bride for our Bridegroom!)

Perhaps you, too, struggle to fully receive your identity as loved by God. John's description of himself was one of intimacy and friendship with his Creator. I pray that you would experience this kind of daughter-ship – the way John lived into his sonship in Jesus – and know how deeply beloved you are.

Below I'm sharing Belovedness reminders that you are His favorite. You are beloved. I'm printing these out and pasting them around the house (Deuteronomy 6:9 style). I've made it easy to do if you'd like to do the same (or print a copy and place it in your Bible)!

With you in Belovedness,

Hannah

Collect Identity Reminders